29 Dec BUCK IT LIST!!!
Buck hunters have many odd rituals, tastes, and habits! This is not much of a surprise since most male Buck hunters are probably all ADD anyway. The jury is still out on women hunters. Whether we are ADD, ADHD, or OCD, Buck hunters are special. They also have Special Needs during deer season. Here are a few things that we may all relate to.
FLASHLIGHTS
Deer hunters are in love with flashlights. Most carry several variations. Whether they are on our beanies, hat brims, or headbands, deer hunters are well illuminated. Other smaller mini lights, heavy metal lights, or old school military lights, are on hand and ready to go, along with extra batteries. You would think most deer hunters hunt in the dark. The average deer hunter carries 4 lights and at least one set of extra batteries. Depending upon the kind of lights, LED, Halogen, or solar, every hunter carries enough light for several weeks of illumination. One of my 9-volt pack lights will stay illuminated continuously for 1 YEAR! Ironically, deer hunters rarely use their lights. Travelling to their stands is best done in the dark, to not spook the deer. If you have a reflector trail, the light will help you find your destination but at what cost? Red or green lights are less obtrusive to deer and may be a better choice. How much flashlight time is really needed during a hunt? If you are looking for a blood trail, I can see the need, but instead of more lights, practice better shooting skills. Oh, and they also make a special Blood Trailing light too!
SPECIAL SNACKS
You know what I am talking about. Every hunter has something special that they eat when sitting alone in a stand. Let’s start with the canned goods. Beanie Weenies, Vienna Sausages, Spam, Luncheon meat, or just Beans are welcome companions. It is probably a good thing that we hunt alone. Many of these canned hand grenades leave a mark! They are like fast food. They taste going down but there is always a price to be paid.
Candy is probably in every hunter’s pack. Halloween comes when it does so Dad’s can steal their kids’ best goodies. Hershey bars, Almond Joy, Mounds, Twix, Snickers, Mars, are all great choices. ROLO’s for some reason are mine. I only think of buying them during deer season, while I am picking up my Beanie Weenies. Slow melting candy like Malty Balls, Sugar Daddy’s, and suck candies are always a good, no movement choice.
Jerky, meat Stix, and pickled things are also fun. Again, they can instigate major gas issues, and heartburn, but are vital to a deer hunters health. Throw in the gassy and starchy camp food, well every hunter will be regular. Bring extra cover scent and napkins.
SCENTS
After a steady diet of gassy foods and snacks it is no wonder that hunters are obsessed with cover scents. They would spray anything on them to mask their human stink. Good luck. Deer and elk can smell humans from miles away. Pee is also a hunter obsession. Using deer pee to attract other deer, peeing in scrapes or on trees, or simply trying to figure out where to pee when you are in a blind or 20 feet up a tree. Pee jugs are often a partial solution. A large mouthed apple sauce container is a good choice. It holds several hefty pees and has handles, a wide mouth for your ego and a sealable lid for the odor. Hunters often carry doe in heat scent, doe pee, apple scent, or any and every other smell that someone can come up with. We also spray ourselves with cover ups, earth scents, and just sterilized water. I dated a girl once whose Grandmother regularly washed her face in her own urine. She kept it in a big mayonnaise jar on the back of the throne. Every morning she would wash her face in it for the “stringent” qualities. I bet she could have been a great deer hunter!
KNIVES
Every decent outdoorsman carries at least one blade. Hunter’s carry several. You would think that we needed to skin a T-Rex. We start with a basic pocket knife to clean our fingernails or stab a few Beanie Weenies. Next is our gutting blade with the Gut hook and guide tip. Just in case we have the Swing Blade double edge slicing miracle cutter. If we need a bigger blade, the Buck Sheath all steel mega edge is always handy. That doesn’t count the Multi-tool that’s in your pack. Oh, and we also have a sharpener handy just in case.
HATS
How many hats do you have? Archery hunting means camo, but rifle hunting could mean florescent orange. Let’s not forget about the Lucky Hat. You know the one that you shot the Big Buck while wearing. Lights with hats are cool and don’t forget about the backup hat for when your primary hat gets sweaty. I knew one guy who wore a hat with a cut off brim, so he could shoot better. Normally I do not wear an orange deer hunting hat since the most movement comes from turning my head. I have an orange vest but not a hat. I do have vintage, lucky, Montana, and promotional hats. Perhaps my favorite cold weather hat is a basic Capuche that converts to a facemask when it gets cold. To each their own.
FACIAL HAIR
I am not sure what women deer hunters do but many men will start growing facial hair until they tag a Big Buck. It may be a beard, mustache, Fu Man Shu, or Van Go, but they are often disliked by wives, girlfriends, and Mothers. Male partners would probably admire any women’s facial hair if hunting in Europe. For Hunter’s it is a display of manliness, pride, and independence. It is also a cheap form of home-grown camouflage. Athletes and other sportsmen do the same thing. Ironically the itch requires movement to scratch the fresh and new hair. You could also use facial paint or wear a face mask but what is the fun in that?
No matter what your Buck It List demands, follow it loyally and enjoy every hunt you have. Your list will change with age and time. Perhaps one day Depends may be on your buck it lists.
Hunt hard, hunt harder!
Montana Grant
For more Montana Grant find him eating Beanie Weenies at www.montanagrantfishing.com.